Time Ago

What happened to the days I’d hear your voice?… the splendors of soft rain… the soft touch of rose pedals landing… memories… they utter of a time so elated… the kiss of bliss… times so related to peace… the beauty that kept calm a beast… times where the past isn’t forgotten… I shall never forget… No!… surely I won’t forget!… I’ll remember as long as life is bestowed within my chest… until I’m laid within the land i will remember the times… sometimes I’d find myself in thought… crossing a rainbow after the calm of a storm to get to you… thoughts of you won’t end… neither will thoughts of wondering how I have lost my best friend… so I think of the times.

Kamrin

As I look into the eyes of my son the greatest joy comes over me. Through his beautiful, innocent eyes I see hope. He is full of beauty and love. Anytime I feel like I am losing any part of me after looking into his eyes and at his amazing smile I began to feel revived. Thank you Lord Jesus for such a blessing!


The way I’m Feeling

Today I awake to a birthday of my own. I turned 31 today and I must admit I am not happy. I’m living in a world where people are becoming lovers of self. I feel like I am, in a lot of ways, very old school. I believe in love… Whatever happened to two people sticking together for life? I am stuck between two worlds and it weighs in on me like an unlimited flow of water into a balloon before it pops. I love God and at times feel very alone because the world has shifted in such a direction, it left no room for me to live both. I know God is and will forever be the best choice a man could make, but yet I have to wake up everyday, me. A man! Flesh!… That of which yearns for what the world has to offer… Even then in me as well, I hate everything about the world. Oh but what lonely feeling that is. Like Adam in the garden of eden, Lord I ask for such a compion… That of which walks with me in the direction that in angled towards you, rather then pulls me into the world where we’d become pushed outside Your profound Love and Grace. IN JESUS NAME, AMEN!

Blowing in the wind

As I go cold, nose red from tears, old letters blowing in the wind;I walk away afraid, I feel like this will never be again;

Pops dead, he left me! Like who can I turn to as friends;

It used to be you, you were once down for me too, but your fading in the wind like my letters;

All the while I stay hoping for things to get better;

Who am I fooling? It’s been stronger winds in other directions and its pulling you;

It’s been a lot of changes around me and I don’t know who is who;

But I won’t forget old memories we had, those the type of things that keeps me grounded;

Between my pops and you there’s no greater pain as my heart cries and sometimes I stop just to listen to the poundin’;

Here I am with my hoodie on, tears across my face still hoping to find my place; 

Like where I fit in!!!

Code red my nose bled from pain that moves strong in my own head; 

Yet in the midst of it all there’s still a vision; 

I guess the same hope I had when pops was alive chasing after a dream that never came true;

Maybe I can see the similarities!!! 

Maybe I’m just a dreamer as I dream there’s hope as I chase you;

I wonder if you get it?

Since my pops died there’s no stop signs to this vision;

Yet, what we had is all I ask to keep me living;

But have I not tried? 

Where’s the love I feel like it’s all mine?

Here I am in the dark my mind running;

Pops never got to be a husband;

I’ve always thought that I would do better;

But yet here I am in pieces!!!

Blowing in the wind like my letters😔

Stress

There’s so many thoughts that invades my mind… With an equation of subtraction because it shaves my time… Memories of joy still untold, while problems yet to be seen still unfolds… I struggle, yes… With my everyday life… Because my life everyday, has an everyday price… As I pay for it in stress yet, I continue to pray for it…